Drew Barrymore Questions the Integrity Behind Online Dating

With the rise of popular dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, many single youths and adults have gotten used to the idea of digital dating. That means, of course, the endless Rolodex of profiles you have to scroll through, long somewhat meaningless conversations via chat, and potential “ghosting” before you even get to the stage of meeting up in real life for a first date. 

According to Statista, online dating has risen quite rapidly since 2017, with 70 million people expected to be users of dating apps and platforms in 2024. A number quite frightening if you’re one who prefers the more conventional way of finding a potential suitor, much like actress and talk show host Drew Barrymore. 

Earlier this week on ‘The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon’, Barrymore shared what dating is like for her these days (a topic she’s known to be open about on her own talk show). “I walked up to a guy in a park, and I was like, “Are you single?”,” she started before going in-depth with the specifics of their interaction, ending with them parting ways due to their age gap despite their connection. "It was the most positive experience, I want to do it again."

“Was it dating apps that stopped us from going up to people and asking them out? Now we don’t have to worry about public rejection, we can just hide behind the app? Forget it, I’m over it,” she concludes. “I want to talk to people IRL (in real life).” 

In a BBC article titled “The darkest side of online dating”, the negatives of online dating were hashed out using personal examples from users, most of whom talked about how dating apps cheapened their experience with courting and how most are often expected to perform sexual favours instead of forming deep personal connections. 

“I was often asked for a sexual favour before someone said hello, before someone told me their actual name,” says New York City-based writer and host of dating podcast ‘A Single Serving’, Silver. “Most of what was happening in that world for me was dismissal – a lot of dismissal, a lot of being made to feel like I was of lesser value.”

Besides the new expectations of what dating apps now provide, dating apps have also been proven to affect interpersonal relationships. Unlike conventional dating, dating apps and online platforms provide pre-set screening tools for users to filter through profiles to their liking, removing the (quite frankly, important) option of being vulnerable when sharing personal details with potential partners.

Barrymore also shared her thoughts on this during her guest segment on ‘The Howard Stern Show’. “I’d like to tell a tip to most of the guys on this app to stop being so coy. Everybody is vulnerable in this situation. Respect women by telling the truth about who you are,” she says. “It’s usually the person inside that I’m drawn to, so this facade of a dating app is really hard to whittle through, I’m not going to lie.” 

When it comes down to it, it’s highly unlikely that we get to see the downfall of dating apps, especially during the pandemic where the use of online communication is more prevalent than ever. However, it is good to take a step back and evaluate just how these online platforms have changed the way we view modern dating in general. Has it changed how we court our potential suitors? Has it affected what we expect from others on these apps? And in turn, have relationships gotten less valuable with their presence? Just some food for thought.